Notes From The Cactus Patch

Tall tales from Texas about characters I know and have known. Who knows, you might be one of them.

When Good People Go Stupid


By: Phil Strawn

My pal Mooch called me a few minutes ago from the HEB grocery store. He is standing in the toilet paper aisle, watching two middle-aged women fistfight over the last 8 pack of Northern toilet paper. He and another male shopper are betting on the skinny gal because she was moving faster, and had the other older women in a Nolan Ryan headlock.

We continued our conversation as he walked the store, commenting on how low the stock is on each aisle, and how stupid people are acting. You would think Channel 5 called for snow flurries tonight. Suddenly, Mooch screams and starts cussing at no one in particular. ” HEB is sold out of pork rinds and beer!” he yells into his flip phone.

Now, I know this virus is severe. Rednecks cannot survive without pork rinds, and beer, its a food staple and will last for years in any bunker or deer camp. They are gluten-free, fat-free, and carb-free, so at least a boy can eat healthily if he is quarantined.

I could hear a scuffle over the phone. Voices yelling, carts bashing into one another; general mayhem. Mooch said,

” I’ll call you later, buddy, there’s a brawl at the Red Barons Pizza freezer, and I have to get me some of those.”

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3 thoughts on “When Good People Go Stupid

  1. coachtom12 on said:

    Just read this in fb…hilarius  

    Like

  2. jpgp5908aolcom on said:

    Amen Bro  ha…..

    Like

  3. cracked me up! People are stupid! The grocery store is the worst place to go. Our grocery stores have the aisles going one-way. Do people know how to drive one-way, you’d think so. Can they push a card in the right direction, APPARENTLY NOT! Plus they are supposed to wear a mask, some do, but many do not. Irritating as crap! Thank you for letting me vent. 🙂

    Like

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