“The Cactus Patch Is On The Road Again”


Photo from Texas Monthly

Since last Sunday, we have been in the high-altitude lovely village of Ruidoso, New Mexico. If it weren’t for visiting Texans, like us, this town wouldn’t exist. Every business owner seems to be an expatriate.

As of April 1st, New Mexico allows recreational sales and use of Marijuana. The evil weed is now legal for anyone 21 years and older. Up until the 1st, it was by medical card only, which could be purchased online for a small price. I had no idea the folks in New Mexico were such potheads. Then I was reminded that everyone that comes to Ruidoso is from Texas, so I guess that makes us cowboys the potheads.

So MoMo, my wife, and I are thinking maybe a gummy or two to help us sleep. Why not? We’ve earned the right by being old and living with constant pain. We stop at one of the five Pot Stores in Ruidoso.

A nice period adobe building hidden among the pines is painted a garish Weed green. Nothing like curb appeal to draw customers in.

The perky little “Pot-arista” led us, through a secret triple bolted door into the main shop where all the goodies are displayed in well-lit sterile display cases. I feel better already knowing that all health regulations are met.

We are the oldest folks in the shop and feel out of place and on the verge of embarrassment. The employees are in their twenties and seem unusually happy. My wife asks our Potarista about a gummy specifically for sleep and relaxation.

“Oh, it all makes you chill and sleep like a baby” she replies. “I take a bit in the morning, then some at noon, then more in the evening, and then a toke around bedtime,” she says.

It’s obvious the girl is stoned all damn day and this is the only job that she can perform while high.

I tell her we are from Texas, we’re old as if she didn’t notice, and we want a gummy to help us with the pain and sleepy time. She brightens up and exclaims, “we have a new gummy, just in from Austin, it’s called Willie Nelsons Head, you’re gonna love it. Willie has the best stuff you know.”

She brings us a small box printed like the Texas flag. Inside are a dozen little gummies shaped like Willie Nelson’s head. The realism is uncanny. The skin tone on the wrinkly face, the pig-tails, and that scallywag glint in the tiny eyes. It’s also a bit creepy. It comes with a CD of his greatest hits, so I’m all in.

Once in the car, I pop in the cd, and ” On The Road Again” plays. We each eat a Willie gummy, put the car in gear, adjust our sunglasses, and head for who knows where.

12 Replies to ““The Cactus Patch Is On The Road Again””

  1. I love this story!!! So great! I hope you saved a Willie gimmie for me Kim

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    1. We did, but the stores were mostly sold out because of the invasion from Texas college students on the 1st and 2nd. Thanks for the deal on the condo. It was on top of Camalout Mt and MoMo had a bit of a problem driving up there and then looking down off the deck into oblivion. She’s better now.

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  2. Awesome…TN will never legalize it in a million years. Willie is the man.

    I got some of those (gummies) from a friend around 5 years ago. My wife and I thought we would try. After eating 1 and a half…after 30 minutes nothing…then I told my wife these aren’t working…as soon as I popped another one in my mouth… it hit like a ton of bricks. We laughed our ass off all night. The next morning my jaw was killing me from grinning.

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    1. Yeah, those little hummers are slow to work, same thing with us. Who knew gummy bears could be so sneaky? On the 1st and 2nd there were thousands of young folks in their 20s and 30s in Ruidoso buying out all the supply. Alberston’s grocery ran out of Hostess and Lil Debbie snacks and the milk case was decimated.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. A local gal we visited with said that most of the restaurants ran out of food by Saturday night. You know how hungry those young’uns can get.

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  3. Far out man! What a groovy story. I remember when a nickel bag was $5 and you pretty much had to just smoke it. Watch out driving, though. In Colorado, anyway, they can say you were impaired, I don’t know about there.

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