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Starbucks Employees Trash Own Stores After Seeing Amy Coney Barrett Drinking Their Coffee


Seattle Starbucks Photo by Don Knotts

Seattle Washington – Fourteen Starbucks shops in downtown Seattle were heavily damaged when employees rioted after seeing Supreme Court Nominee, Amy Coney Barrett drink from a Starbucks coffee cup during her questioning.

Buzzy Wayne, spokesman for the company said the damage is estimated to be in the 15-20 million dollar range. He also stated that no charges will be filed and no one will be terminated. Instead, each employee involved in the incidents will receive counseling and six months of paid leave.

In an email to Judge Barrett, CEO of Starbucks, Button Feldman demanded that the judge cease advertising and drinking their product. Judge Barrett replied, “I will gladly stop drinking your product, it taste like Badger piss anyway.”

Judge Amy Coney Barrett Arrives at Supreme Court Hearing In Costume


October 12, 2020- The Dead South News Service – photo courtesy of Jackie Kennedy Onassis.

Supreme Court nominee Judge Amy Coney Barrett got day one of her bi-partisan hearing off to a rousing start by dressing in costume. It appears her attire is that of a handmaiden from the hit Hulu series “A Handmaids Tale.”

Senator Diane Feinstein and Kamala Harris ran from the proceedings screaming. A doctor was summoned to administer a sedative to both women before the hearing could proceed. Senator Corey Booker, a fan of the show, said, “I don’t agree with her on anything, but Judge Barrett looks pretty darn hot.”

Senator Lindsey Graham, the committee’s chairmen, got a chuckle from the stunt and told the remaining panel, “come on now, it’s almost Halloween.”

Judge Barrett, in her opening statement, said, “I only wanted to interject a bit of fun in this hearing.” She further unhinged the Democrats on the panel by placing small figurines of Jesus and the Pope in front of her microphone and lighting a prayer candle.

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