Notes From The Cactus Patch

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Archive for the tag “ballots”

” Bring Out Your Ballot’s”


MINNEAPOLIS, MNā€”Ilhan Omar is once again being accused of violating campaign ethics laws after she was spotted driving a giant industrial ballot harvester through her district near downtown Minneapolis.

On loan from the DNC, the state-of-the-art John Deere converted wheat harvester can harvest over 200 bushels of votes per hour, allowing candidates to gather enough votes to cheat an opponent out of an election. And best of all, every ballot is 100% home-grown, locally sourced, and organic.


“Ballots! Bring out your ballots!” Omar called through a bull-horn, prompting citizens to throw their ballots out in front of the machine for easy pickup by her campaign machine. The Minneapolis residents are compensated handsomely for their ripe, delicious votes.
After completing her run through the city, Omar emptied the harvester and took it for a spin through a local cemetery.


During her lunch break, a local television news reporter caught up with her and came away with her statement, “It’s not much, but it’s honest work,” she said. “Well, it’s not honest work. But if you say that, you’re a racist.” AOC has made arrangements to borrow the ballot harvester from Omar next week.

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