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Starbucks Employees Trash Own Stores After Seeing Amy Coney Barrett Drinking Their Coffee


Seattle Starbucks Photo by Don Knotts

Seattle Washington – Fourteen Starbucks shops in downtown Seattle were heavily damaged when employees rioted after seeing Supreme Court Nominee, Amy Coney Barrett drink from a Starbucks coffee cup during her questioning.

Buzzy Wayne, spokesman for the company said the damage is estimated to be in the 15-20 million dollar range. He also stated that no charges will be filed and no one will be terminated. Instead, each employee involved in the incidents will receive counseling and six months of paid leave.

In an email to Judge Barrett, CEO of Starbucks, Button Feldman demanded that the judge cease advertising and drinking their product. Judge Barrett replied, “I will gladly stop drinking your product, it taste like Badger piss anyway.”

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