It’s been a rough few months in the Cactus Patch. A pesky winter turned into a monsoon-like spring, and bandit Squirrels raided my bird feeders. Now, I have to contend with the sitcom on television known as politics. A demented, crooked old man holding off a bit younger old man, and one of them will wind up in the most expensive nursing home in our nation. My political wound was about healed, and now this indictment thing knocked the scab right on off, causing me extreme discomfort. Momo, my nurse wife, wants to stitch it up with sewing needles and thread. I rubbed some Whataburger ketchup on the wound and took a double shot of Irish Whiskey, and it’s healing nicely.
We took a trip to Colorado last week to visit Momo’s daughter and grandkids and sell Momo custom purses at a craft show, but that didn’t pan out. As most of you know, Colorado is one of the most liberal states in the union. California used to be, but folks moved from there to the rocky mountain high that old John Denver used to warble about. We saw plenty of trippy folks when we shopped at Sprouts for regular cereal and milk. Everyone in the store looked like models from an L.L. Bean catalog. Lots of flannel, leggings, facial hair, patchouli oil fragrance, and expensive hiking boots. We found some all-natural, gluten-free, free-range raisin brand and Tibetan goat’s milk, as well as some Mrs.Sasquatch gluten-free, sugar-free cookies. The girl at the checkout had so many piercings on her face that she looked like she took a head dive into a tackle box. She was very mountain trippiesque. The 6,588-foot altitude played hell with my breathing, so I figure most of the folks in Colorado Springs are perpetually high from oxygen deprivation, and you add weed on top of that.
Describing a heavily pierced cashier as someone who “looked like she took a head dive into a tackle box” is an awesomely vivid analogy.
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“head dive into a tackle box”… That I have to remember Phil!
I went to Denver once…that was enough.
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Yeah, you could hang her in the water while holding her feet and catch enough for a fish fry. She had some of my favorite lures on her cheeks.
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lol…I always come to you for a good turn of a phrase.
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Thank you, Max.
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I’m stilll cracking up about that one. My husband loves to fish and I’m waiting on an opportunity to use it.
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Let me know how it went.
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“The girl at the checkout had so many piercings on her face that she looked like she took a head dive into a tackle box.”
I laughed so hard when I read that!
As for Colorado being a bastion of liberalism, there’s a mountain of evidence to support that conclusion.
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It’s pretty liberated, everyone wears a little back pack and who knows what might be in them. We go to visit the daughter and grandgirls, no other reason to drive to that state.
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I can’t wait to steal that one LOL
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Feel free to take it. I doubt she could make it through airport security.
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Thirty years ago Colorado was a nice visit. Now it’s worth no more than being a starting point for the interstate trip to Wyoming. ^%Y$$#$# sanguinatingf cardiac liberal ^%$W#%^$s ruin everything they touch. California was a nine place until 1950, now it’s a liberal crime and influencer-ridden cesspool [quite literally].
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No way we could live there. We did get back a conservative publican.
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Maybe it’s the El Nino.
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I’m sure it was.
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Well, you’re right about the Californians. They come here to get away from California and then they want to change everything.
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Colorado Springs appears to have been changed, at least what we saw of it. The restaurant at the Garden of The Gods was darn good food.
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Well, some things don’t change.
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In defense of CS, Momo and I went to Sprouts ( a for sure hangout for wokies) and Sams Club and a few other places
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