Dire news for the good citizens of Colorado Springs: the elusive and dangerous Chupacabra has returned. A local resident, Miss Sunshine, a retired mid-wife and medicine woman, spotted the semi-mythical creature sitting in the road in front of her home, and than later that night she found it feasting on feral cat food on her deck. She described it as a mangy muscled brown hot mess about the size of a large dog. The critter had glowing eyes that seared into her brain, a long pink snout, and illuminated toxic drool dripped from it’s mouth as it chomped down on a bowl of Little Friskies Feral Cat Feast.
Local NPR field reporter Maya Sharona asked her a few questions about her unnerving encounter with the Chupa.
MS: Miss Sunshine, what makes you think this was the mythical Chupacabra?
Sunshine: At first I thought it was the dog down the road, old John Boy, but the closer I got, it was clear to me that this was a Chupa. I drove around the thing and it started chasing me, sort of like those dinosaurs in Jurassic Park, chasing that jeep. I floored my Prius and made into my garage and into the house, that’s when I called the sheriffs office to report it. Officer Fife and Chief Andy came out, but the thing was gone by then. Later that night it showed up on my deck and was eating the Friskies I put out for the herd of feral cats that live in the woods behind my house. I worry about them kitties because Sasquatch lives out there too and I hear he is fond of Cat meat. I took a good picture with my iPhone.
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Notes From The Cactus Patch 
Hilarious account of Chupa with a great cast of characters. I was finally convinced it was fiction when Miss Sunshine said she floored her Prius.
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Maya Sharona is my favorite character of all time. She’s quite busy there in Colorado. Some of the report is real, I only embellished it a bit.
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I lol when I read that name. Classic.
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Guess beautiful Colorado Springs is off my travel plans this year.
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We are going back this summer and hoping to see the little Chupa.
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Seems to have too much hair for it to be a real Chupa.
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I thought the same. It’s still cold in Colorado.
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Miss Sunshine is my neighbor from down the road and across the hill a piece. She always has the exciting stuff happen to her. Here I only ever seen a dog with mange.
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The mountains and Pikes Peak hold many secrets. The last time Momo and I were in Colorado Springs was last Jan. We arrived in a snow storm and left in one. I know for a fact that Sasquatch lives in the woods behind Momo’s daughters’ house. Now they have that mangy Chupa to deal with. There are a lot of women in Co. named Sunshine.
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😂
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Hilarious! Including Sasquatch in your tale gives it real credibility. Chupa eating Friskies cat food for feral cats-funny! 🙂
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We can assume that the two mythical creatures are friends.
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Thanks for the entertaining read!
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John Boy is an excellent dog name, especially for one that looks like a chupacabra!
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There are likely more than one dog in CO named after John Denver.
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