Somewhat Good Information For Those Unfortunate Folks That Live Up North
A Mrs. Lee, of Rebel Yell, Virginia wrote that her son has been hanging around a bunch of contractors and has picked up their bad habits.
Mrs. Lee: Mr. Texan, there’s a convenience store being built on our block, and my six-year-old son, Robert, and his little pals have been hanging around the jobsite watching the construction. The tradesmen are friendly to the boys and have been giving them Pops and sharing their food with them at lunch break. A few days ago, Robert and four of his little pals tore down our backyard storage shed, and they are now using the lumber to build a fort in our two-hundred-year-old oak tree. My husband, Jefferson, thinks it’s okay, they are just being boys, but not only did they destroy our shed, which we bought at the Home Depot, but now they are cussing and yelling nasty things at the neighborhood girls. I’ve heard foul language in my years, but these little boys are using disgusting terms: ” **** this and **** that,” “you’re a dumb ass,” “hand me that ******* hammer, you know, the kind of foul language tradesmen use. I’m a Christian woman, and I can’t bring myself to tell you all I’ve heard from my little boy. Well, this morning, Robert told his sister to get out of his “damn way or he will kick her ass.” Well, that did it for me. I told him to go to the backyard and get me a switch so I could spank his little behind. He looks at me and says, ” Hell no! That’s the electrician’s job.” I don’t know what to do, my son is a heathen.
The Texan: Well, Ma’am, your problem is not as dire as you think. Boys love to demolish things and then build stuff with hammers and nails. Contractors often use colorful language because there are no women on the job sites. I wouldn’t be too concerned, it’s a phase and will pass. The good news is that Robert may have learned some valuable hands-on skills that can be used later in life, like carpentry and such, and some darn good curse words that will come in handy as he grows older. I was cussing like a Hun by the time I was his age. Let me know how he turns out, and I’m sending him a gift card to Home Depot and a box of Cherry Bombs.
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Notes From The Cactus Patch 
You made some good points about the jobs skills those young ‘uns are learning, but they don’t need to talk street. I’d throw in a bar of soap for their filthy mouths and give them some chaw to keep their oral potties preoccupied. If they don’t like the taste of chaw, give ’em Twizzlers. 🙂
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My mother and granny used soap. Mom preferred Lifebuoy, and Granny her homemade lye soap. My cousins and I cussed when we were out of range, and I blame my two favorite Uncles for teaching us those words. I also experienced the Redman, chaw, and it made me ill, another gift from my uncles. Looking back, they got me into so much trouble, I’m not sure of why I was so fond of them. Thanks, Nancy.
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Your uncles sound like they were a hoot. You must have gleaned a lot of wisdom from them to be such an insightful advice columnist under the guise of Mr. Texan.
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Yes, Nancy, they were quite the family outcast, as I am. I learned too much at an early age, and my extended family has always reminded me of that.
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My Aunt Lydia washed my mouth out with soap because I said, “Golly” like Gomer Pyle.
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Now, that’s serious. Gomer was pretty innocent.
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They speak English at Home Depot? No lo sabÃa.
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The employees do, but not most of the clientele. Home Depot is the contractor’s store, while Lowe’s is for the weekend do-it-yourselfers. I’ve caused so much trouble at both stores that my picture is posted as a “don’t wait on this old guy.”
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Great points in your post, Phil. Kids mimic what they hear, so it’s good for us to be aware of that … and yes, boys will be boys… that said, we once heard some choice words coming out of our granddaughter’s sweet little mouth when she wasn’t yet two!
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It’s amazing how fast kids will pick up words and habits from watching others. Then they are eager to ‘practice’😉their newfound words and skills.
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You get a wholesale deal on cherry bombs?
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Yes, from an old dude outside of town, underground brown box and all.
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Cool deal.
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Good deal, I’m thinking.
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