World Breaking News From The Cactus Patch..No kidding.


Breaking News from The Dead South News Service

Mrs. Mister, 1958. Photo by Mr. Mister

Flash – London, England. A genomic study out of Britain found that natural Blonde women will be extinct by 2223. The last natural blonde woman will be born in Finland in 2220. Genome scientists are working frantically to find a new genetic cure. It’s believed that the overabundance of “bottle blondes” in our society has mysteriously affected the natural gene in the world’s women, causing it to rebel and destroy itself. The Geno team also said that Fox News and CNN will be SOL in finding a news host if they are still around.

Get off my grass, or I’ll sick my T-Rex on you!

The same Geno team has recently discovered from a sample taken from a Neanderthal skull found in a downtown park in France that the Neanderthal’s died off because they carried a gene that caused them to resist change, wanting to keep things like they were “in the good old days.” It’s said that around 70 percent of modern men and women carry the gene, and it becomes awake and active around the age of seventy. That explains everything.


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14 Replies to “World Breaking News From The Cactus Patch..No kidding.”

  1. I have a crush on Mrs. Mister from the first time you showed a picture of her…she looks like she could have been Jayne Mansfield’s sister.

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  2. As we all know by now the Neanderthal gene is alive and thriving in the collective brain of liberal woke Democrats. The current human society is as good as dead, so going back to the caveman era and starting over again is the best deal we’re going to get. Cash your chips and get outa town, cowboy.

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