Posted on by Phil Strawn

Say It Ain’t So Billy Joe…An Ode To Teenage Love


After a few months of rehearsals and gigs with our new members, Danny and Marshall, Alice, our manager, announced that she had arranged an audition for a female singer for the band. No consulting the boys on this one; it was full ahead. Alice had good ideas, so we rolled with them. She thought some femaliaty would add depth and make us more audience-friendly, since we were a bunch of surly young men with longish hair and the attitude to accompany our looks.

She knew someone who had a neighbor who knew another neighbor of a family who lived next door to a lady who attended church with a woman who had a daughter who sang in the choir at school and did solos at church, so Alice, one step ahead of us, escorted her into the practice room and announced, ” Boys, this is Miss Janelle.”

In walks, this teenage girl with a full-grown woman’s head of long hair piled up in a big bump on top and then down past her shoulders. She was a dead-ringer for Bobbie Gentry. But could she sing?

A TV dinner tray sat by Marshall’s organ, used for drinks and lyric sheets, so the auditioning singer pulled from a Coppertone beach bag a few record albums, a book of lyrics, a TAB cola, and a framed 8×10 autographed photo of Bobbie Gentry. Now we knew why she looked so much like Bobbie Gentry…she dug the gal.

Danny asked Miss Janelle what songs she knew. ”

Do ya’ll know any Dusty Springfield, Petula Clark, Diana Ross, LuLu, Sonny and Cher, Marianne Faithful, April and Nino, Dione Warwick, Lesli Gore, Ronnie Spector?” she asked.

Danny said, “Nope” we are a rock band, not the Ed Sullivan Show.

That kind of busted her bubble a little bit. “Well,” she says, ” How bout some Bobbie Gentry? I just love her and she is my favorite singer in my whole life.” We had already figured that out from the picture and the hair-du.

Our inquisitive drummer, Barry, interrupted her, ” Isn’t that the song where she and the boyfriend throw a baby child off a bridge into the muddy river?”

Miss Janelle whirled around and yelled, ” No, moron, she didn’t throw no itty-bitty-baby off a bridge; it was a bouquet of Mississippi wildflowers to solidify her big love for her man Billy Joe Macallister, but then he got caught dating his aunties pet sheep, causing him to jump off the old bridge into the muddy Tallachee river. Bobbie sent me a letter, along with this picture, explaining the whole song, but I promised to keep it a secret. We’re friends, you know.”

She thinks hard for a minute, then says, ” The only Rock-N-Roll song I know is Gracie Slick’s Somebody To Love. Ya’ll know that one?” We sort of knew it, so we gave it a go.

The lass let loose and was jumping around like Tina Turner, hair flying everywhere, strutting and shimmying, doing the Bug-a-loo, the Monkey, The Watusi, and a few others while singing. When we ended the tune, Marshall, our organ player, was staring her down with those big pansy-boy watery Puss-N-Boots eyes. He clearly had a severe case of the “Hubba Hubba’s” for this gal. Danny told us that this happens about once a week and he will be alright once he gets home and eats his mama’s hot supper. Alice announces she is marvelous and is now part of the band. Okey-dokey.

The next rehearsal, Miss Janelle comes in with red eyes and mascara trails down her cheeks. All sniffily and weepy, she says, ” My boyfriend said I can’t sing with a bunch of degenerate rock musicians. We are in love, big-time, and I must quit the band now.” Still in the grip of the Hubba-Hubba’s, Marshall puts a consoling arm around her shoulders and tells her, “it can’t be all that bad.”

She barks at him, ” Shut up, Moon Doggy….It’s my party, and I’ll cry if I want to.”

And with that, she packed her Coppertone beach bag with her albums, lyrics book, TAB cola, and the autographed picture of Bobbie Gentry and left, leaving the air heavy with teenage perfume, hair spray, and juicy fruit gum. Then…..More to come in my series.

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20 Replies to “Say It Ain’t So Billy Joe…An Ode To Teenage Love”

    1. I think back to those times in the 1960s and rock music. There was no Taylor Swift like superstars back then. Maybe Janis Joplin for a brief period, but then she checked out. Swift should be congratualated and rebuffed for her Pied Piper hold on young girls. Today, it’s marketing, not so much talent. The gal is marginally talented, knows 4 guitar chords, controls millions of pre-teen and teen girls lives. Scary stuff. Yeah, the singer didn’t work out, but that was for the best. Our band from 2000 until 2019 considered a female singer, but then…naaaaw. We were all old and cranky musicians.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Actually, your distaste for Swift is well known throughout the world. So, dear blogger friend, I was pulling your chain! I don’t understand the attraction & popularity of Swift either. I was head over heels over the Beatles. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, I am known in the family and shrinking circle of friends for my dislike of the swifter one. My chain is always there for the pulling. One positive thing I can say is: I would rather the young’uns idolize her than these trashy nasty rapper chicks and the Kardashians. That hurts to say, but it’s so. The Beatles, ahh, the first boy band that the young girls went gaga over. I recently watched my DVD Silver Anniversary version of “Hard Day’s Night.” Brought back good musical memories and darn, those British birds could run fast. Poor Ringo didn’t stand a chance. Thanks for keeping the plates spinning, Nancy.

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  5. Love these stories Phil….I knew something was going to go wrong when I started to read it. There is always a Marshall in the band…and maybe two or three of them.
    You were more open minded than I was…that was tried on us…hmmmm…good looking girl and four guys…nothing but trouble. I wanted no female in our guy domain…we had enough trouble getting along with each other. Then we would have Ron our guitar player saying…”I’m teaching my girlfriend to play keyboards….she could play with us” ….uh NO…thats worse!

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    1. Chicks were always trouble in a rock band. Marshall finally left and found true love in a northern California commune: living on weed, organic veggies Ripple wine. I have a story about him coming soon. He’s deceased so Ima sure he won’t be too offended.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Ok yea…you are with me on this. Nothing but trouble…and many times it’s not their fault but the panting guys around her.
        I’m looking forward to that…I guess there were a few people back then that went to that culture.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Two of us knew her BF, and he was a stand-up nice guy, so we got his reasoning. I don’t believe he and the singer got hitched after high school. It would have been a disaster. Marshall went on to live in a California commune in 1969, living on weed, Ripple Wine and organic veggies. I saw him a year before he died, back in the mid 2000s and he didn’t remember any of it. Best darn piano player next to Liberace.

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    1. Me too. I’m not sure why I remember this, but, Bobbie was a guest on Glen Campbells Goodtime Hour back in 68 and him being a cut-up asked her ” Just how long does it take you to shave those long legs?” She cracked up and couldn’t answer. I loved Bobbie Gentry.

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