Posted on by Phil Strawn

Grifter Swifter


The original Tortured Poet

After reading all the glowing, foot-kissing reviews of Swifter’s new album, “The Tortured Poet’s Department,” I take back a few of the skews I gave her, but only a few. I had no idea the poor dear had lived such a sad life. I doubt her feet touched the ground until she was five years old, and every spoon in the house was pure silver. A downtrodden, entitled little rich girl confined to her Barbie bedroom writing little kid songs on her half-size Martin guitar. She never played in a bar, a club, or anywhere for that matter, except for her doll babies. Pop’s paid millions to get her into that Nashville brotherhood, which shows us how far that once holy ground has slipped. Did the poor waif have ever have a decent relationship with a male, not counting her current knuckle dragger? Doubt it, so the tortured poet title might fit her, even though what she writes is far from good poetry.

There have been many before her who qualified for the title: Harry Nillson, John Lennon, Bobbie Gentry, James Taylor, and Willie Nelson are a few. The original Homeric tortured poet, Bob Dylan, still holds the title: Swifter is no more than a grifter.

Discover more from Notes From The Cactus Patch

Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.

12 Replies to “Grifter Swifter”

  2. I used to go to music for it’s wisdom, life feelings growing up & to feel soulful, happy or meaning.
    I can barely bare what is being produced today, most of the time. You have a way with words that go a long way to produce images, thoughts & emotions in my head. Good one!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Right on. Pop paid an estimated 4 million to Nashville insiders, record producers, song writers and record folk, this is from folks that know the skinny. I assume she paid daddy back? She is a marketing tool, making money for all involved. If not for the millions of impressionable pre-teens and teens, she wouldn’t even make it to American Idol. Shows one that yes, money buys everything.

      Liked by 3 people

  4. I’m no fan of T.S., but I believe in giving credit when due (entirely subjective on my part), so I’ll go on record to say I was deeply impressed with her “Carolina Knows” tune … and I like the way she delivered it as well.  As for the rest, Meh.  I’m going to the “Time Out” corner now.

    P.S.  I could be an ardent fan of the billionaire songstress if she would send me one measly million.  Why should she?  Because we tarts, we weary band of tarts should stick together.

    Like

Comments are closed.