Beware Of False Idols

Taylor Swift is back in the news—not that she ever left. I was hoping that her knuckle-dragging boyfriend would have married her by now, moved to a tar paper shack in Appalachia, and kept her barefoot and pregnant. No such luck. The millions of her lemming-like young fans have been breathlessly awaiting her choice for president. The anointed swift-one dropped it on social media. She is supporting the Harris Walz duo. Does she not understand that more than half of America is conservative and controls the purse strings of their children, her fans. Ali wants the new Taylor Swift album priced at forty dollars. I think not. Crafty marketing has turned her into a money machine. She knows the power she wields with the pre-teen and teenage girls. They have made her a billionaire. A tall, leggy blond who writes and sings cartoon music, perfect for a Saturday morning children’s show. Millions of young girls hang on to her every word and march like soldiers to her orders. Say something wrong about their golden idol, and they will unite and come for you in the middle of the night.

Somewhere in Kansas

A quiet suburban street, older homes, well-kept with tidy yards. The car in the drive is going on at ten years old, and the pickup parked next to it is a year older. The mother works at Walmart, and the father is an auto mechanic and a volunteer fireman. Blue-collar, over-taxed, middle-America Christians. Their thirteen-year-old daughter, a swifty, which is what her cult following calls themselves, walks into the kitchen where her parents are seated at the breakfast table, shuffling the monthly bills in two stacks: pay and don’t pay. They are counting their dollars and now counting coins, hoping to have enough to pay for the groceries for the week. In a snotty know-it-all tone, typical for her age, the daughter, in a demanding tone of voice, tells her parents that they must vote for Harris because Taylor Swift endorsed her, and they need to give her five hundred dollars for a ticket to her show next month because Taylor says all Swifties must unite.

Her father looks at her and says, “We are in a financial squeeze, young lady, so to pay the bills and buy food, I will need your iPhone right now, and I am canceling your subscriptions to Spotify, iTunes, your phone service, and the internet. You will also need to get an after-school job, or drop out and work full time, your college fund is no more, we had to use it to pay the mortgage and for your braces. That nice car you wanted for your sixteenth birthday, well, that’s not going to happen. Now, since you are united, call Miss Swift and ask her to send you a check.”