Posted on by Phil Strawn

The Dreaded Report Card


by Phil Strawn, based on personal experience

There is a school system on the East Coast that is changing its grading system so every student can “feel better” about themselves. This smells suspicious, and is likely extracted from the same rotten education bag as  “everyone gets a trophy.” Every letter grade is now lowered by five points, promoting a grade of “C” to a “B” and so on. Who benefits from this PC madness?

From personal experience, I can tell you that bringing home a low grade on your report card does have negative consequences. The younger you are, the fewer repercussions from your Mother since you are still her baby. As you age, the fear factor increases.

There is nothing that scares a kid more than bringing home the dreaded “F” or even the slightly better “D.”

You slow-walk your way home, looking for every excuse to prolong the firestorm that the small piece of cardboard will create. You’re begging God to intervene and miraculously change that red “F” to an acceptable, blue “C.” Nothing changes, and you accept your fate. God is likely a teacher on the side. With the end nearing, I take a moment to notice the blue sky, the chill of autumn in the air, and the singing of the birds. Even the neighborhood dog that always gives chase sits with sad eyes as I pass. Little things that may be my last moments of life.

With a cheesy fake smile on my face, I hand the report card to my mother, hoping for leniency.

Everything is fine until she sees that miserable sixth letter of the alphabet. Her happy smile fades, and her squinty-eyed mom’s stare paralyzes me.

My young life flashes before my eyes; I’m a goner. In desperation, I blame everything except my own stupidity. I fall to my knees, crawling across the kitchen floor, squeezing out fake tears, begging for forgiveness. She has none of it. The mom court is adjourned. I await my sentence.

Short of having my butt whipped with a Tupperware cake holder, or being sent to the “Dope Farm,” my mother’s go-to threat, I get off well and alive. I cannot watch cartoons for two weeks, play outside for a week, have Hostess cupcakes and Ovaltine, or play Saturday baseball for a month, which is alright; it’s winter, and I am in hibernation mode.

My next report card showed a vast improvement—not one failing grade. The specter of personal failure and my mother’s watchful eyes loomed large, shaping my educational journey. It’s a curious thing, our human desire for high marks—some students hustle and toil beneath the weight of those lofty expectations. But if we lower those standards, those who might shine will find themselves unfairly penalized, while those who merely coast by will come to view diligence as a nuisance.

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9 Replies to “The Dreaded Report Card”

  1. Whose brilliant idea was that? Sounds like treehugger nonsense to me. It serves no one except maybe the teacher who looks like she’s doing a bang up job and the school with all their students getting decent grades. It’s a stupid idea and once again the school kids will be the ones who will suffer, if not immediately then in 10 years when they’re struggling through college. It’s a disgrace.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. I understand. I’ve experienced similar situations — but I must defend America’s school children. Make no mistake: the United States has one of the worst school systems in the world, yet no one seems to care enough about this “elephant in the room” to take action. Here are a few irrefutable facts for you. Children in grades 1 through 5 score at the 85th percentile when compared to children of the same age in other industrialized nations. This percentile score drops to 45% for children in grades 6 through 8 and 48% for those in grades 9 through 12. Now ask yourself … why is that?

    Why is getting children up in the morning for school from grades 2 through 12 like pulling the teeth of a Tyrannosaurus Rex? What is happening in schools across the country that causes our children to almost universally despise going to school with such unrestrained passion?

    Final question: what have we done to these children (our children) that leads them to cease asking, “Why?”

    Let’s resolve the answers to the above questions so that the issue of “failing grades” is no longer a problem — and then, perhaps, in the future, our children graduating from U.S. high schools will be qualified for more than just a job slamming burgers. Additionally, in the future, possibly fewer than half of our recent high school graduates will need to take remedial classes before earning college freshman credit (which extends a four-year college program into a five-year curriculum). Maybe then we can start hiring Americans for essential careers in business and science instead of having to recruit them from European universities.

    Just a few thoughts … but as I said, no one is listening.

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  6. Ah, but you got an “Excellent” in “Works well with others”, right? We’ve all dreaded the six or eight week Tattler. Some dread it so that three days before the day of issue, they start cleaning their room, making their bed and stop pounding on younger siblings.

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