Posted on by Phil Strawn

Ask A Texan: Finding Joe Bee’s Father


Pretty Stable Advice For Folks That Don’t Live In Texas And Can’t Get Here

The Texan

This Texan received a letter from Miss Sparkle, a business owner in Chattooga, Georgia. She runs the Papa Gus River Rafting and Fish Camp, which was made famous in the movie Deliverance.

My little boy, Joe Bee before he grew up into a man

Mr. Texan: I can’t get no help around here from nobody: it’s just a bunch toothless hillbillies sitting around drinking moonshine, so maybe you can shine a light on my predicament. I enclosed an old picture of my boy, he’s real shy and won’t let me take a picture now that he’s older.

Back in 1972, a group of Hollywood boys filmed a movie here on the river. It was all fun, and my family got to be in the movie. I enjoyed many an evening drinking shine with some of the actors and got to know one of them really well. Bless his heart, he’s passed on now, but I’ll always remember his funny laugh and how good he was with that bow and arrows. Now, in 1984, a bunch of rich big-shots from Washington, DC came down to ride the Chattooga like in that famous movie that was filmed here. They were nice men and treated me with respect, even though I was just a river rat. Daddy hadn’t been gone long, and I was really sad, so it was nice to have some company at the camp. One night, the bunch of us were sitting around the campfire drinking daddy’s famous shine, and this one fellow they called Joe B started sniffing my hair. I didn’t mind cause I had just washed it with lye soap, and it smelled pretty good. He was a nice man, in a creepy sort of way. Too much shine always gets you in trouble, and I’ve had plenty of it since then. Well, about a year later, the old stork shows up with this bundle of joy. I call him Joe Bee. He ain’t no kid no more and doesn’t want to do anything but sit in his porch swing all day long playing the same song on his damn-ole’ banjo. I’ll tell ya, it’s driving us all to drink more than we normally do, and that’s a bunch. We tried hiding it, but he always finds the darn thing. Little Joe Bee just wants to know who his daddy is. My two other boys, the twins, Smokey and Bandit, their daddy never comes to see them either, but that’s cause he’s dead as a shot squirrel. I’ll give him a pat on the back; at least he gave them each a black Pontiac Trans Am for their sixteenth birthday. At least Joe Bee’s daddy could send him a monster truck or something. He just wants to meet his daddy and have something with big wheels to drive.

The Texan: Miss Sparkle, I’m sorry to hear of your problem and Joe Bee’s fatherless miserable life. Like you, I couldn’t stand to hear a banjo picking all day long. At least you have some good moonshine to knock the edge off. Looks like your boy’s Pop might be found in Washington, DC, and shouldn’t be too hard to track down; the family resemblance to a former big-shot should help find his daddy. We folks down here in Texas believe that every boy deserves a big truck to drive. Keep in touch, and tell your son I’m sending him a DVD of the Smokey And The Bandit movie along with a month’s supply of Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream.

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16 Replies to “Ask A Texan: Finding Joe Bee’s Father”

      1. We’ll all be the better for it. Just take it slow and steady. Say. Didja notice how much Joe Bee looks like his daddy – the slits for eyes?

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  2. Joe Bee is simply bidin’ his time by playin’ the banjo. And by the way, I notice that he’s usin’ Burt’s Bees lip balm, ’cause the sun reflects somethin’ fierce off’n the water. Some ole river rat once told me, “If it’s Burt’s, it hurts.” But I replied, “You oughta not give that good company no lip!”

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  3. I think I saw that boys daddy in Washington DC last year when I was visiting. He was selling shine sno-cones from a food wagon in front of the Capital building. One more thing-that poor boy sure would get a good drool going if you gave him a box of HoHos with that Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. 🙂

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  6. I recognized the face before I even read your post. The duelling banjos song is now playing in my head. Thanks for the ear worm, Phil! Question: Is the story about how he came to be in the movie truth or fiction? Your post is so well written that it’s hard to tell.

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    1. No, it’s all fiction at that point. The kid did play banjo, but Eric Wiesman sat behind him using his arms and hands to play the banjo for the scene. Sorry about the ear-worm, I get them frequently. I may do an update on this one , that boy needs his truck.

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      1. I knew the history of Billy Redden, Phil. I was just trying to make a point about how fine-tuned your writing skills are. 🙂

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      2. Thanks, Terry, that went right on over my head doncha know. Ope’ Back in the late 70s and through the 90s, I played country music, and when not playing guitar, I played 5-string banjo and played that very song, and yep, it got old quickly. I like it when folks put those pats of butter on me; at 75, I’m as fine-tuned as I will ever be. I’ll keep you posted on the latest news of Joe Bee and Mama Sparkle.

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