Notes From The Cactus Patch

Tall Tales and Ripping Yarns from The Great State Of Texas

Archive for the tag “transgendered”

“Where’s The Dress?”


I met up with my old pal Mooch for lunch at the local Whataburger a few days ago; corner booth by the west window, same as always for at least ten years now. Giblet, his foul tempered chihuahua was nestled into his chest mount baby sling. A large colorful patch on the sling read; “Service and Emotional Support Animal.” I never knew that? What in the world could Giblet do except bite your fingers trying to steal french fries and crap in the carrier.

We ordered our burgers, said our howdy’s and made small talk until the meal arrived. Mooch was quiet except for smacking his double meat burger. I knew he was troubled about something.

About half-way through the meal, Mooch blurted out, “my grandson is a sissy-boy.”

I know his grandson Willie quite well, so this surprised the hell out of me. The kid is 6 ft. 240 pounds of Texas football playing whoop-ass. All district line-backer all 4 years at Granbury High School and the fastest man on the track team. Mooch must be on drugs or suffering from early onset “Old-timers.”

I said, ” come on Mooch, the kid is all testosterone and muscle and will be playing football for some Big 10 university next year.”

“Nope” he says. “He’s a girly-man, just like that Boy George dude back in the 80s. My son Harry called me yesterday with the news. Willie is transitioning into a girl named Sadie Sue. Harry said he’s wearing a blonde wig, dresses, high-heel shoes, makeup and big fake titties. He still has his Johnson, so that’s a good thing, but he said he is a girl now. I should have noticed something was amiss when he sent the AR 15 rifle I bought him for Christmas back to me with a note that said, “no thanks, guns or for mean boys.” His Grandma is so freaked out, she took a handful of Valium and took to her bed.”

I know nothing of this subject, but offered Mooch a coddled word, “I know this is a shock, but is there anything positive that can come of this. You think it’s just a fad or a phase?”

Mooch smiled and said, “Well there is one good thing, he got a full-ride scholarship to the University of Oregon, so at least he will get a good education.”

“Well that’s good news indeed. I’m sure he will be a stellar line-backer for the football team,” I say.

Mooch wiped a tear from his watery old eye and said, “not football buddy, he’s on the girls track team.” And with that, Giblet bit Mooch’s hand trying to get the last french-fry.

A New Girl On the Block


Caitlin and Bruce

I can’t admit to completely buying into this transgendered thing of the moment, but a person has the right make believe they are something they are not. Those babylon babies in Hollywood do it for a living, and most of us did it when we were kids, always pretending like we were Superman, Wonder Woman, Davie Crockett or even an Olympic gold medal winner. It’s ones right to pretend; but don’t expect everyone else to buy into it.

A few nights ago, Caitlin Jenner was on the Shawn Hannity program on Fox. Hannity interviewed her about a number of topics, including the hottest one of the day about her running for Governor of California. Jenner, speaking in a husky manly voice, didn’t duck one thing. She answered all his questions, even the ones that were a bit uncomfortable. I was impressed.

The one touchy question that Hannity didn’t ask was “why did you want to become a woman?” One would think that Bruce having to endure that make believe clan of no-talent, worthless Kardashian women would drive any man to extreme measures; Bruce didn’t have a chance from the get-go.

I liked everything Caitlin said about fixing California and the country. She is no doubt a conservative, which is driving the liberals and wokies crazy because she is not one of them. I think she may have a good chance at occupying the mansion in Sacramento.

Let’s be honest here, she’s the only woman that has the ball’s to fix California.

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