Posted on by Phil Strawn

“Another Sunday Night In The Twilight Zone Between Christmas and New Years”


Photo by Captain Kirk

I feel like I’m living in a black and white telecast of the Twilight Zone. The ghost of Rod Serling is sitting in my den telling me stories and smoking Camels. That “dead zone” between Christmas and New Year has arrived.

Christmas can be such a damp squib to one’s spirits. Yet, throughout December, we anticipate the evening of the 24th and the 25th. Plans are made, food and wine are consumed with friends and family, phone calls made, presents exchanged, all in a whirlwind of excitement and frivolity. The world is at peace, life is good, we are all out of debt, and the family members we disliked a week ago now sit in our den spilling beer on our new carpet and double dipping the queso.

Then December 26th arrives, the tire goes flat, the cake goes stale, and the wine is soured. A whole week of angst lies ahead. I stock up on Valium and Tullamore Dew to fortify my journey.

I sit in my cushy recliner, slack jaw, drooling, staring at the ladybug on my ceiling. Pat Sajak is droning in the background, and Vanna is marching across the stage, turning those damn letters. The poor lady loses the car over a pause of 2.5 seconds. Sajak is an asshole. The lady goes home, her predicament goes viral on the net, Audie gives her a car, and Wheel of Fortune comes off looking like the dipshits they are. Why doe’s Vanna White even have a job?

My wife and I have doctor’s appointments this week. She, physical therapy, and me for a sinus invasion. We talk of going to the mountains, the ocean, or anywhere, there is no cedar. Christmas kicked our senior butts. We are as broke as 1930s sharecroppers. So I’m searching for old reruns of the Twilight Zone for insight and inspiration.

The coming Friday evening will bring a welcomed end to the year from Hell. According to the newscast, we will be walled into our homes within a few weeks and most likely deceased by February because of the Omicron bug. New Year’s Eve brings revelers blowing their little paper horns, drinking champagne, groping each other’s butts, and making drunken fools of themselves, but come morning, nothing has changed, and no one gets a pass to start all over. So put on your face diaper and shut up.

I think Rod Serling had it right. “Live every day like you’re in The Twilight Zone;” come to think of it, we are.

7 Replies to ““Another Sunday Night In The Twilight Zone Between Christmas and New Years””

  2. Rod Serling has definitely been seen in my town. He will appear on various street corners, smoking his Camels and staring at the idiots with face diapers on their faces in the open air or alone in their cars. Sometimes he drops his cigarette in disbelief when restaurant-goers don said face diapers to enter the establishment, only to remove the oxygen restricting device when they sit down at their tables. I guess the flurona is the deadliest when walking thru a doorway.

    I’m tickled about the ladybug on the ceiling with Sajak in the background. I have, on many occasions, stared at various stinkbugs on the wall during Wheel. I saw that episode…”There is a reason we have rules.” Yeah. That was a very bad call. Good on Audi.

    Vanna has always puzzled me, particularly since she doesn’t have to “turn” letters, anymore. I can remember my dad watching wheel and remarking that, to him, Vanna’s head was too big for her shoulders.

    Speaking of drunken fools, did you see the CNN guy, taking shots with Anderson Cooper, going off on DeBlasio? That was epic.

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    2. My wife and me have not worn a mask for a while now. We did order our free test kits from uncle Joe’s Pharmacy so we can see if we are going to expire anytime soon. We are getting good at Wheel, getting most of the answers before the contestants. Still waiting for our prize money.

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      1. I only wore a mask when I was forced to…certain stores…then, I started ordering online where I could. I’m stuck with wearing one in Costco and the local pet store…because “science.” There is a website out of Canada that sells face masks that are made of, basically, pantyhose…very breathe-able and washable. And, expensive.

        Well, now that the RT-PCR test has been ditched by the CDC, I’d be willing to bet that the “new & improved” tests will all be positive…no matter what. There are too many vials, too much money to be made and too many non-takers.

        Why are you ordering tests, just out of curiosity? Are you suffering symptoms?

        You know you can sign up to be tied to a player and, if they win, you get the same amount.

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  3. Pingback: Tale Tuesday: Canadians « Cosmic-Observation

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