Happy Trails Till We Meet Again, But Only For A Little While


Photo by; Gabby Hayes

Tomorrow morning at approximately 7:15 AM, one of the two surgeons assigned to my medical predicament will be slicing into my stomach on his way to my spinal column. This has been a while coming, and alas, the highly anticipated moment has arrived. I have total faith in both surgeons since they are from foreign countries, attended multiple the bet medical schools, and are highly rated in their field.

The first surgeon, (the general surgeon,) and the stomach expert showed me a beautiful 4K video of the actual operation. Stunning color with sharp close-up photography of what one’s insides actually look like. They don’t use scalpels nowadays, but tiny light sabers similar to the ones used in Star Wars. Funny that his nurse is named Leia and the examination room I was in was labeled Exam R2.

Cutting through the viscera and old muscles, the soft pliable pinkish and rose-tinted innards, pulling back guts, tendons, and vital organs, blood veins pulsing with every beat of my 72-year-old heart, tons of escaping blood, and then driving a stainless steel wedge in between my L5 and S1 disk, that is no longer functional and are bone on bone and constantly fighting about who gets to cause me the most pain. He did mention, in passing, that if a blood vessel or artery burst he would be there to repair it, if possible. But, if I do pass on to the “other side” I wouldn’t feel a thing since I will already be halfway there. I told him “I would rather not wake up dead.” He thought that was witty, and giggled a bit.

He assured me the hardware and the tools are made by Craftsman and have a lifetime warranty from Lowes. I exhaled in comfort knowing that bit of information. He also adores Craftsman tools, so we talked a bit about home improvement. Seems he is remodeling his ranch house in Weatherford and forgot to support the main beam which allowed the den to collapse, resulting in the home being razed. Oops!

He congratulated me for not fainting since 99 percent of his patients do when viewing the film. I gave the presentation a 4 popcorn box rating and continued on to the next surgeon’s office.

My second surgeon, the spinal expert is rated so highly in his field, that he is considered a revered legend. The medical people don’t use his real name, but in the circle of surgeons, he’s called “The Spine Man.” It’s all rather James Bondish.

He’s repaired numerous high-profile and talented sports figures including Dac and Tony. It’s said that the first surgeon in his family tree corrected Qusimoto’s condition after the famous Notre Dame debacle, but that’s part of the legend I assume.

He also uses Craftsman tools and parts and showed me a brief presentation on how he will slice me in three or more places and install stainless plates, screws, rods, and spacers into my spinal column around the spacer wedge assisted by the spinal surgeon. They don’t use real bone for splicing anymore, but bone pieces are taken from recent and highly rated cadavers. He assured me not to worry, the cadaver looked a bit like me and didn’t object to the donation. That’s a good thing, I don’t want to wake up to ” It’s alive!” screaming in the operating room.

The question of years of practice came up and he told me he got his start at ten years old repairing mopeds and motors so he gained expertise early on with repositioning wiring harness, to accommodate nuts, bolts, and screws. Another good thing to know.

I will likely not be able to write on my blog since I will be as doped up as a San Francisco street person for a few days, then in excruciating pain which will require more drugs. I will not be in any state of mind to write about subjects that will surely offend every one of my readers and friends. My wife says I cannot have my laptop until I am reasonably sane again.

All kidding aside, I have complete faith in my surgeon’s skill and the care of the nurses and staff at Medical City Fort Worth. After all, it’s God’s gifted hands working through these two blessed surgeons.

Let’s hope all ends well and I’ll see you on down the trail in a short while. Happy Trails until we meet again.

18 Replies to “Happy Trails Till We Meet Again, But Only For A Little While”

  1. Holy crap, Phil. Now this is what I call taking your body into the shop for one Texas-size rack and pinion job. Your sense of humor will get you through this, and if you do end up on the other side, you’ll crack ‘em up for sure.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It is God who is in control and will guide the surgeon’s hand.
    When you mentioned Quasimodo I thought of Gene Wilder and Marty Feldman, “I’m a fairly talented surgeon and I can fix that hump for you.” “What hump?”

    Liked by 1 person

  3. If your lovely wife sez she’ll not let you near your PC until you are lucid [sane] she forgets you aren’t quite sane on your best days. Best to you tomorrow. Threatened with back surgery years ago, I’ve had dreams [after perhaps too much Irish] that I’d wake up during surgery with the doc asking my opinion on a particularly tricky turn of events. These kids, you know, right? Catch you when your wife confuses the smirk on your face with a grin of complete sanity and lets return to scaring the bejesuits out of the whole of WP.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hey Phil I took August off from blogging so I didn’t know…I saw you post today on Dave’s site. I hope everything is alright. I’ll have to remember “I would rather not wake up dead.”

    Like

    1. I’ma okay. Little spine surgery here, a bit more there, screws plates and bars, OH MY! Recovery fine, should be up and around in a few more weeks. I took off from blogging for a while because the pain meds made me right some crazy stuff. I was even offending myself. Thanks for asking about me Max.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sorry I didn’t see earlier…glad it’s going ok. Yea I have a bad back…nothing like you but yea pain medicine and writing don’t go together…well…they FEEL right together but in the light of the day…it usually doesn’t work lol.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. If you haven’t guessed, I’m a praying person these days! Therefore, I wish I had read the post sooner and I’d have prayed for you. So I’ll just start now and pray for your full and quick recovery. Happy Birthday!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: