It’s been a taxing week in The Cactus Patch. I’ve discovered that the television news makes my face break out. During my teenage years, I had but a few dozen pimples, while my buddies’ tortured faces resembled a Fire Ant attack. Now at almost 75, my facial skin is red, rashy, bumpy, and pissed off. I fear it may be the newscast that causes stress and anxiety, which leads to the facial condition. I plan a visit to a Dermatologist to assess the damage.
Headlines That Will Make Your Head Explode And Require You To Wrap Yourself In Cottenelle Toilet Paper and Duct Tape To Stop The Splatter On Your Wife’s Newley Painted Walls…
The attack on Israel from 12th-century Iran, a land full of self-flagellating fanatics with modern weapons and TikTok, has America in a tizzy, and it’s likely the cause of my skin condition. If the Shah and his Missus, two well-dressed cafeteria Muslims, were still alive and in charge, there would be large air-conditioned shopping malls, Starbucks, and Ikea stores, giving the citizens something more to do than mill around in the street and shout, “Death to Isreal, Death to the great Satan, America.” I would think this behavior would get as stale as last week’s bagels after forty years. I read that Israel counter-attacked the Mullahs overnight. A well-planned strategic Puma-pounce, carried out by young pilots, both men and women who are wide-eyed and prickly aware of the unfolding biblical implications. Mainstream media, meaning all the morning propaganda shows disguised as “drink your coffee with us while you shoot up with your Ozempic,” programming says “Israel is to blame” for the attack on Iran. Well, no kidding. The Israelis were reluctant to contact the White Nursing Home for fear that Old Sniffer would rat them out to the Mullahs, which it appears is what Blinken may have done. The word BLAME in their statements should tell us all we need to know about their true feelings.
Coming To America…not the Eddie Murphy movie
Job? I Don’t Need No Stinking Job!
NPR Field reporter Maya Sharona was at the Texas/Mexico border on Thursday morning, interviewing ” future citizens” as they wiggled under the razor wire.
An invader dressed in a new jogging suit and Nike sneakers agreed to speak to her.
Maya Sharona: Sir, welcome to our country, could I have your name and your destination?
Invader: “Oh, Hi there, you scurrilous bitch of a white woman; my name is Juan Valdez from Venezuela, and I am headed to New York City to join up with my compadres in MS-13, you know, the gang boys. I’m real excited about my prospects in your weak stupid country.”
Maya Sharona: “Sir, do you plan to find a job once you reach the Big Apple?”
Invader: ” Job? I don’t need no stinking job. Papa Joe is giving me a 10 thousand-dollar debit card, free housing in a five-star hotel, a new iPhone, a Social Security Card, A voting card, Welfare, free food, a new car of my choice, and all the white girls I can assault all your daughters and wives..where are the white girls? A job would get in the way. Say, you are a nice looking chica, how about we step behind that large steel wall, and by the way, how do you like my new 9MM Glock? gimme your purse.”
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Notes From The Cactus Patch 
They’re cloning Juan Valdez from Venezuela. Strange, though, that some of the clones speak Farsi, Urdu, or Chinese…
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I know, it could have gone on for a number of pages.
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Pretty flowers behind you. Did you build those & lay that brick?
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Yep, I did all the rock work, built the fence and landscape. It’s changed a bit since the epic vortex killed many of my plants.
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Looks good. We live in an old 1947 built house with a pristine large cypress & oak lined trees meandering a good acre behind us. We have an L-shaped wooden & corrugated tin roof deck behind our shed. I’d call it Luckenbachish. Dodie has plenty of humming & other bird feeders around to keep us amused. We use a Merlin bird call identifer to help us learn which whistle, cluck or scream is from which type of bird (mostly house sparrows, doves, cardinals, Carolina wrens, black crested titmouse, Ruby-throated hummers, & most recently Painted Buntings. A few years ago, I would have never dreamed to be so fascinated by birds, our tree squirrels & butterflies. Now I get excited when onions, peppers & tomatoes start popping out of our garden containers.
It’s a good life & better since I’ve seen your Joe Walsh getup. I couldn’t get much higher!
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Jack, your abode sounds exhilarating. We love Luckenbach and have been many times. Thanks to JJW, I discovered it back in the mid-seventies when I was going through my Cowboy-Hippie stage. Momo and me love our birds too, and have many of the ones you mention. We also have a family of pushy Crows that takeover the feeders and demand peanuts and shiny trinkets. I call them the “Poe Family.” Retirement is better since we have the daily life of the birds. We are talking about moving to maybe your area, or far West Texas, but then we look at what we have here in small-town Granbury. Yeah, I wish I could pick guitar like ole Joe.
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Whew! I’d wait ’til the election results before any major moves/decisions. Sounds like you live in a good part of Texas.
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Yeah, we do. Small, but exploding with folks from California. Once Granbury was awarded the title of “Best small historical town in the US” it was like the Oklahoma land rush. Now, when we go to H.E.B. we hear a lot of Valley Girl California speak instead of the good ole Texas twang. I even heard a “Dude, like there’s no surf on this lake?” There are as many Prius and Tesla’s as pickups and all the eateries serve Avocado Toast as a main meal. Geeez. Yeah, we’ll wait a while, but we got the itch.
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Wow! This sounds like Boerne & Kyle. I raised my family there, about 5 miles out of town on top of a high hill overlooking the direction of New Braunfels & Fredericksburg. Vast and beautiful. It was like Mayberry. A commute to my office was 44 minutes in the beginning. When I retired it was 92 mi (3 hrs commute daily, leaving before sun up, arriving home at night).
Kyle was just a post office & gas station. Now it’s a crowded city where Austinites (afraid of their woke, crowded city) go to repeat their mistakes, plus welcoming West Coast liberals in with open indoctrinated arms. I feel for you!
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Cypress & oak lined pristine RIVER, I meant. Sorry, I couldn’t autocorrect.
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From a Woker, “So, unh, sir, what’s the point?”
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Have you tried having a real conversation with some of these young’uns? They speak in texting language if at all.
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Generally avoid’m if I can. Not that difficult living in deep country. Bump into one in the big city shopping now and again. And me without my slingshot.
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Momo and me were eating in a sandwich shop a while back, close to the TCU campus. The clientele were college students. Four young women sitting next to us were texting the entire time. Text, take a bite of food, text some more, laugh, gasp, text, bite..went on for half-an hour. No one spoke to each other, brain dead and socially incompetent. That is our young generation at this moment.
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Bright side. I know more than several yutes as distressed over “their” generation as you and I. Wondering how bad is gonna be the kickback when the good yutes start kicking Wokers in the teeth.
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Potential to be bad, we’ll see.
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My daughter teaches band, junior high and high school. They have to put their cell phones in a basket coming in and out. She says that’s just what they do exactly. They are only giving my grandson a flip phone when he drives (he’s 8) and no social media until he’s about out of high school.
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Grandkids have phones, but no internet on them until later.
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