The hype season is upon us. Thanksgiving is in the rear view mirror, and everything is Christmas, and it started in October. Walmart skipped Thanksgiving and Halloween and went from summer to Christmas. Which is fine by me. I only visit that store when forced, and I was forced against my will a few days before Thanksgiving to accompany my wife for prescriptions and a few last-minute grocery items for the Turkey dinner with the family on Tuesday instead of Thursday, which we spent eating lunch with her brother, who is living in a rehab center in Dallas.
Every person in Granbury seemed to be there, thinking they were saving money, which is the big trick that the Waltons pull on the public. They mark some things way-way-bottom down low, and then raise the price on others, tricking the poor shopper into believing they are getting a great deal and saving their hard-earned money, or EBT money, which is really mine and your taxes financing all those overflowing baskets of junk food, hair extensions, and fancy dragon-lady fingernails.
I did notice more young women in full bedtime attire this year: jammy-bottoms and tops, along with fuzzy house slippers; some of them should have at least combed their hair and brushed their teeth. One girl had a long string of toilet paper dragging behind her PJs. What is wrong with women these days? They think it’s fashionable to come to a public place in their sleepwear? They look like morons. One older lady was wearing a Pioneer Woman house robe, a shower cap, and hospital socks, the kind with the little rubber bottoms so you don’t slip and fall. She was pushing a basket full of Pork Rinds and Dr Pepper, which, here in rural Texas, are considered one of the survival food groups, along with coldbeer and baloney.
Thinking back, decades ago, in the mid-1950s, I would accompany my mother to the grocery store, Piggly Wiggly, which was her favorite haunt. I would see women with their hair in rollers, peddle pushers, KEDs, and nice blouses. There was always a cigarette hanging out of their mouth, which made them look a bit sleazy, but back then, everyone smoked and used hair rollers. My mother loved to smoke; she was a world champion and would have a burning one in her mouth and one in each hand, ready to replace the other. She had a lot of big hair, so there would be at least two dozen rollers of all sizes shaping her follicles into a work of art. It seemed that these women all knew each other. They would stop and say, “Look at yeeew, how’s your mama and them? Did you get a new dress, or is that hair color just darlin, makes you look ten years younger and as cute as a Christmas puppy?” This went on for hours, as the ice cream melted and the meat grew dangerous E. coli bacteria, and I lost a large part of my childhood that could never be reclaimed. At least they didn’t wear pajamas.
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Notes From The Cactus Patch 
I laughed so hard, my sides hurt!
One girl had a long string of toilet paper dragging behind her PJs. What is wrong with women these days?
That’s where I lost it!
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I hear ya, going to Walmart for an hour gives me so much ammo to write about. My wife refuses to walk with me because I comment on what I see.
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That was so funny….but sad because it’s true. I mean we all are more causal now but some take it so far! I think spandex is making a comeback…for the wrong people!
I do remember the rollers in the seventies…and women would wear those pointy horn rimmed glasses….with a thingy over their rollers. Thingy…I use that when I cannot think of the proper name!
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It was called a headscarf in Texas, over the rollers and tied under the chin; my mother, as well as the other women, wore them. Phyllis Diller’s glasses. Some folks shouldn’t be allowed to wear anything spandex. We were in HEB yesterday and saw the teens in pajamas, must be the thing now.
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Yep! Why couldn’t I think of it…yep Phyllis Diller glasses…that is perfect!
I don’t get it…I mean I get not wearing a hat and tie….but come on.
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Your descriptions took me right there, Phil. Very well written!
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Thanks, Terry. We went to Walmart yesterday, for, yes, another prescription pickup, and yep, there were the folks in pajamas and even one family in shorts and flip flops, and it was 38 degrees outside.
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And I thought we were cold here in the RGV at 50° morning temps!
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i just can’t take it going into a Walmart anymore. It’s nuts. Your descriptions just to get prescriptions are hilarious. I always felt like I needed to take a shower after what each surreal and traumatic experience at Walmart. Seems like I remember people throwing their cigarette butts down on the floor and smashing them in grocery stores in late 50s, early 60s.
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Yes, everyone smoked back then. I remember being in church in the mid-1950s, and the folks in the pews smoked and flicked their ashes onto the wooden floor: our preacher even smoked while he preached to the congregation. The church was enveloped in a fog of cigarette smoke. Walmart is a clown world of its own making.
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Eloquently put; I can see and smell it, and now I need a bath. But the description of us in the 50’s and 60’s was just as real, too funny.
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Our Walmart in Granbury is one of the better ones. I’ve been to a few that would make your skin crawl. The 50s were different. We also had the crazy behavior, but it wasn’t as in-your-face or outlandish.
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