More Worthless News and Folklore From The Texas Cactus Patch 5-26-2023

I don’t have a current picture of myself, but this resembles my classic Wild Bill Cody look these days, only my hair is much longer and whiter, my teeth sparkle like a jewel, and I walk with a cane thanks to botched back surgery. At times, I carry a sidearm Colt 44, just in case things go south, as they often do here in Texas. It’s too hot to wear buckskin, so shorts and Tee Shirts make up my Western clothes.

So much for boycotts generated by the LGBQRSTUVWXYZ clothing. We Drove by Walmart this morning at 8:30 AM; the parking lot was full. Same driving by a Target in Fort Worth a few days ago, and full lot. I guess we Texans ain’t as tough as we put on to be. I did read that a father went berserk in a local Target and tore down the display and its sign, scattering those cute little grooming duds all over the aisle. He’ll likely get six or more years in the same prison the J-6th killers are housed in. The local Walmart is having its tax-free weekend and they are running a special; any gang of looters with 8 or more in the group gets to steal an additional 30 percent of goods; while supplies last. Just for giggles, the greeter may or may not be armed with a hidden 44 magnum. Could be a Dirty Harry moment.

This weekend is Tax-free shopping and free looting for gangs of 8 or more

I’ve found that grocery shopping at 8 AM is the way I prefer. There are no old ladies to bump you with their carts, very few shoppers and everyone is nice at that time of the day. I do miss not being able to whack people with my walking cane when they bump me, but hey, I can adjust. If you have never shopped at H.E.B. you are missing out on a great store. You might want to consider relocating to Texas so you can save money on your food and gasoline.

Ensure goes well with wine

Two weeks ago, our 4-year-old Whirlpool microwave bit the dust. Then a few days later, the 4-year-old Whirlpool oven did the same, then the 4-year-old Hot Tub took a dump. We replaced the microwave with a nice hood and purchased a small microwave that rest on the counter. The hood is a beast that has enough CFM to suck a Tomcat to the grill. Now we are buying a new oven and the hot tub repair is scheduled for June 6th. I’m praying the television or the fridge doesn’t go to La-La land. Oh yeah, all the appliances were made in America, so that has me worried that we are going backward with our manufacturing and China is leaving us in the dust. Wait a minute! Isn’t that what our past president said? Condolences and best wishes from Texas, and God Bless The Alamo.

Was it something I cooked?

4 Replies to “More Worthless News and Folklore From The Texas Cactus Patch 5-26-2023”

  1. (1) Buffalo Bill, who’s buried on Lookout Mountain overlooking the Coors brewery in Golden, Colorado (where I spent a few years of my childhood), is resting. He’s not woke. (At least not than anyone has noticed.)
    (2) Ever try surfing a microwave?
    (3) The boys in the hood claim there’s no such thing as a nice hood.
    (4) We could control illegal immigration at the Southern Border if only we shopped at Wall Mart.
    (5) Yes, it was something you cooked.


  2. You hit a sore spot with me…modern appliances… we went through 3 blenders in 8 years…we stopped at a yard sale around 10 years ago and I bought a `1969 Oyster blender…Phil…that thing would blend cast iron. It still works like new.
    Phil it makes no sense. How come the center…where the majority is…never gets heard over the extreme people? I don’t understand or comprehend the world we live in.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I can’t begin to understand. Yes, the older appliances work the best. My mother had the same oven and cooktop combo for 30 years and it never needed repair, nor did my grandmothers that was made in the 1920s. Oyster made some great products..and here in the US, back in the day.

      Liked by 1 person

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