Old Pal Mooch called this morning asking me if I would help him bury something. Mooch is not a sentimental guy, so I was a bit taken back with his request. He didn’t say who are what it was, or what happened. I immediately assumed it was his old Chihuahua, “Giblet.” He said he would pick me up in ten-minuets.
As I opened the passenger side of the pick-up truck, I noticed a tarp with something underneath, and a shovel laying in the bed. There was also a gas can. We drove in silence for a few miles then turned on a dirt road and onto some federal land.
Mooch found a spot by a large Oak tree and dug a nice little hole, about large enough for a small dog. He then retrieved the tarp and laid it on the ground next to the grave.
When he jerked back the tarp, I expected to see the remains of his beloved dog, but instead, there was his new Apple laptop that his wife had given him for a birthday present. He quickly pushed it into the hole, poured gas on the machine and threw in a match. The fire did it’s work in less than a minute. I was too stunned to say much about what I had witnessed so I let Mooch do the talking.
“I paid nearly two grand for that sorry piece of plastic and I turn it on this morning and get Error 19. Sum-bitch, the darn laptop has the COVID-19 Virus so here we are burning it just like they did when the plague was killing those folks in Europe” he says.
It was best to just remain quiet. I didn’t have the heart to tell him it was a computer error, not a virus.
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Ok then…
Yeah but sometimes I’d like to bury all my digital gadgets; laptop, iPhone, Watch, and iPad, and just be a normal unconnected individual. My kids would no longer respect my digital acumen, but at least I might find some peace of mind. Gasoline seems a bit much though.
Mooch ain’t no renaissance man. He burns everything, including his burgers.
It’s better the laptop got burned and buried rather than that four-legged rascal Giblet. 🙂
Nancy, that little booger is still walking around biting ankles, and he has to be nearing twenty. I’m meeting Mooch at Whataburger next week and he will likely bring Giblet in his papoose carrier.
Now I would love 💘 a picture of that!
Not a bad price for a private cremation. Condolences to Mooch.
I never told him the truth. He bought a HP after a few weeks of mourning.
You’re a good friend, Phl.
Mooch, keeps me on my toes.
That really made me smile!
Thanks, that’s my mission. Smiling removes the bad wrinkles and does the old heart good.
oh Phil that’s such a tall tale but hugely entertaining 🙂
Thanks, John. It is a tall tale, but Mooch does things like that, and he keeps me entertained.
that’s terrific 🙂
I was 100% wrong in my guesses as to what Mooch was planting. Thanks for another entertaining read!
Me, as well. I had already shed a few tears for the little dog, and didn’t expect that.