Posted on by Phil Strawn

Day Two Of The Heart Monitor And Janice Taking A Little Piece Of My Heart…Now Baby.


I got through the night without the red light coming on, so I didn’t wake up dead, which is another misnomer. How does one “wake up dead?” I don’t care to find out. I know Jerry Garcia was always playing and talking about being part of the Grateful Dead, another messed-up name for a band. Dead folks aren’t grateful unless they have never heard a Taylor Swift record, or they are in Heaven, so we can assume the band at least gave Christianity a second thought. In the end, Ole Jerry didn’t have much to be grateful for except a body full of Heroin or whatever the hell he killed himself with. We can assume that if he made it to Heaven, the Good Lord at least put him in one of his praise bands along with Hendrix and a few others.

I had my usual cocktail last night, sitting on the patio with Momo, watching the Skunk and two Opossums come into the bird feeding area scrounging for treats. I was surprised the two critters didn’t get into an altercation, considering they both prefer the same foods: fruits and veggies. Momo says no old man in their right mind would encourage critters to come to an animal Luby’s cafeteria in their backyard. Somebody has to take care of our small furry critters. Elie Mae Clampett always had a few hanging off of her, and Granny was good at fixing them for supper when Elie Mae wasn’t around and Jed was out shooting for some food and finding more crude. Did Granny ever serve Mr. Drysdale and Miss Jane any Possum Medallions on a wooden stick with Chipmunk sauce?

Finally got my heart monitor paired with my Bluetooth hearing aids and my stereo and listened to some of the drum solo from Iron Butterfly’s “Inna Gadda Da Vida,” and man, that guy could play, I got my heart to match his kick drum, and was moving and grooving in my La-Z-Boy: Momo thought I was having the big one and almost called 911 since the light started blinking yellow. If it’s green, I’m good; yellow means it’s iffy, and if it goes to red, then I’m off to La-La Land. I got a text from my Dr. Squatch to “knock it off.”

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27 Replies to “Day Two Of The Heart Monitor And Janice Taking A Little Piece Of My Heart…Now Baby.”

  2. I’m reminded that my mother, who will soon be 92 years old, knew Donna Douglas (“Elly May Clampett”). Mom worked at a car leasing agency in Liberty, Missouri. Mom’s boss, Claude Parrish, somehow got to know Donna, who would come visit the business now and then. Claude, Donna, Mom, and another female employee would go out for dinner. Donna gave Mom a signed vinyl 45 rpm record (“You Make My Heart Wanna Sing”), and Mom passed it along to me. I still have the record in my collection.

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    1. Now, that is a treasure for sure. Donna Douglas was a class act country girl that made it big time. She was even in an Elvis movie or two. Myself, like a lot of young guys, had the Hubba-Hubba’s for Eli Mae. I didn’t know she was a singer or had a record. Hang on to that one. When I was a kiddo, around 5, my dad played with Red Foley’s band on the Ozark Jubilee, out of Springfield MO. He was the fiddle player sitting next to Grady Martin, the famous guitar player on Marty Robbins hit, El Paso. I was always backstage with my mother and the other wives, watching from the wings, stage left or right. I know a little bit about Missouri. Pat Boone was married to Reds daughter and he and Red didn’t always see things in the same way. Red like a shot or two of whiskey, Pat drank Coke, so it got tense at times. My dad lasted about a year on the live show then came back to Texas and country music history. I was just a kid, what did I know?

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      1. Mom is in assisted living in Springfield, where I was born in ’54. I plan to go visit her later this year. When I was a kid, I used to play records, and one of my favorites was Marty Robins’ “El Paso” (I still love that song!). It’s too bad I never got a chance to meet Donna Douglas, but Mom says she was really down to earth, and very cheerful. I guess the only country western singer I’ve ever had a chat with was Moe Bandy down in Branson back in ’95. I didn’t attend his show; we just happened to run into each other. I did briefly meet the Osmond Brothers after their show. (Not country, and no meeting, but one of the highlights in Branson was attending Andy Williams’ show at the Moon River Theatre. In addition to singing, he went down memory lane with a video.)

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      2. Going to Branson is on our bucket list, just haven’t made it yet. El Paso has to be one of the best songs written. Without the fabulous Grady Martin on that gut string guitar it wouldn’t have been the hit it was. My Dad and Grady were good friends, but lost touch after we moved back to Texas. Grady played with Willie Nelsons band back in the late 70s and into the 80s. Willie did a fund raiser for Senetor Peyton McKnight at Billy Bobs, and my dads band, The Light Crust Doughboys were also on the show. Dad and Grady sat on Willies bus for a long while, rekindling their friendship and of course, suffering through the London fog of pot smoke floating around. Moe played Granbury live not long ago, but I missed his show. That little live music venue has a lot of the great country stars from the era when country was still country.

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  3. I’m happy to hear you’re boogying in your recliner. You should have Momo drive you to the nearest senior center so you can safely burn off your energy playing chair volley ball. Listen to Momo, Phil. 🙂

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      1. Haha! Our church has interest groups for different ages. Their 60 and over group had “chair volly ball” as an enticing activity for their first meeting. I did not go. 🤣

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      2. I can’t bring myself to do that sort of stuff. Momo sings a a women’s choir called The Melody Belles, and they do shows around Fort Worth and here in Granbury. I have been picked to run their sound board since the other guy is now too old. They are playing a nursing home ( old folks home ) retirement center in November. I told her I am afraid to go there, they might keep me and put me in a room doing puzzles all day long.

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    1. Yep, it dates me or sure. She always had a critter hanging off of her, and Granny was alwyays looking at that critter for supper. So far it’s reached yellow a few times, but no red.

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    1. I can’t let them go hungry. It’s dry here and food is scarce, so I pitch in a little tid-bit or two. They seem to get along because they know the buffet is free as long a they don’t mess it up. I’m thinking of offering a Luanne Platter like Luby’s used to do, for a critter discount of course.

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      2. I often wonder about things like that. I heard that Crows like bright shiny trinkets and will take them. I left a shiny quarter on top of a fence post near the feeders, and a Crow took it. The next day, I found a dime and a nickel on the post. What did he spend the dime on? They may be more intelligent than we give them credit for.

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    1. All things are possible with these new devices. My two hot shot hearing aids allow me to hear my phone calls through them, listen to television or Bluetooth my stereo receiver or phone and has a setting to call 911 if I fall down and can’t get up. I can’t get the clap on…clap off part of the app to work on the lights.

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