Drug and Age Induced Advice For Seniors Over 75
I’m turning 77 in a few months, and the only object made from fine wood that I want is a Gibson F5 G Mandolin. Banjo Ben in Mo. has a used one for 4900. bucks. I’ve contacted The Southwestern Medical Center about selling a kidney ( I only need one to pee), maybe a pinky toe, and both testicles, but no response just yet. My son is checking into a clinic in Martamoras, Mexico, that is willing to give me a nice sum for all usable parts, so I can purchase the instrument. I don’t need balls, a pinky toe, or two kidneys to play, so it may work out. I’ll keep you all informed on the negotiations, though my Spanish is limited to “more chips and salsa.” Pronto. How many testicles does a man really need?
This sounds very inappropriate, so sorry.
Discover more from Notes From The Cactus Patch
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
Notes From The Cactus Patch 
Most of our representatives in Congress have no balls, so they have none to sell. However, they can easily afford a full collection of Gibson F5 G Mandolins. #PayToPlay
LikeLiked by 1 person
So true and so sad.
LikeLiked by 2 people
It is inappropriate, but sometimes in our senior years, we feel compelled to reveal our true feelings. You’re forgiven, brother.
I do suggest you find an alternative means of financing your dream purchase (nothing illegal of course).
Tomorrow, I’m having my hearing tested to see about replacing my thoroughly unreliable hearing aids that a currently trying to drive me insane. I expect them to cost about what your mandolin is priced at. I will however use an extended pay credit plan rather than selling any body parts. And anyway, who would be interested in buying 83 year old body parts, especially those that no longer function?
Maybe send the guy in MO a hundred bucks and a box of cherry bombs?
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks, Bob, I had forgotten about the Cherry Bombs. Momo, my wife almost had a mental episode when I revealed my plans to purchase the mandolin, so I scraped it. I got hearing aids about four months ago and it changed my life. I was deaf and didn’t know it, now I hear too much and have to adjust them with my phone. It ‘s too much to pay, but the cheap ones are no good.
LikeLike
Apparently, this post has not been screened by Momo. 😱
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah, she through one of the biggest fits yet because she knew I was serious.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Phil, if your gizzards are ripped out, you’ll be in no shape to play a mandolin. Listen to Bob and Momo. 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
Gotta keep those gizzards, Nancy. My grandmother loved them, as we ate chicken three times a day, and as a bedtime snack.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Gotta say, Phil – I’m with Momo on this one.
LikeLike
Terry, she had a brain MRI done on me to be sure I didn’t have Oldtimers after hatching that plan.
LikeLike