Holiday Road To Washington


Photo by Ken Kesey

That fun-loving scallywag, Texas Governor Greg Abbott has kicked off his new tour line from the South Texas/Mexico border to Washington DC. ” Texas Dust Devil Tours” boasts 900 luxury diesel guzzling buses, with a non-stop direct trip to “Old Screaming Joe’s” neighborhood. The cost to each rider is zero, nada, free, no peso, etc.

The inaugural bus was met by the Catholic Charities, DPS, Federal folks in polo shirts, representatives from MS-13, and Ronald McDonald.

As each maskless passenger de-bussed, they received a hearty handshake, a hug, and a cute gift bag full of goodies. Inside, they found a map to the White House and Nancy Pelosi’s personal residence in Georgetown. Also included were coupons from Mcdonald’s, Motel 6, Waffle House, and Walmart. A crisp $100.00 bill was tucked inside a nice little card that read, ” Don’t Come Back To Texas,” Love, Gregg.

Madame Speaker’s limo happened to drive by the arrival. ” Oh Spalding, who are those dreadful little brown people coming out of the tacky bus?”

Her driver responded,” That would be the illeagle invaders from the Texas border Ms Pelosi. I hear there will be around 900 more bus loads.”

Pelosi grabs her cell phone and calls Joe, ” Joe, you friggin moron, we are being invaded, call the National Guard, now.”

Madame Speakers’ limo was spotted at “Liquor Land” a few minutes later. Her driver was carrying a case of Grey Goose to the car.

It’s going to be an exciting summer in DC folks. Forget Disneyland; pack up the old station wagon and go to Washington.

Sneaky Little “Stealth” Bug Coming to Your Neighborhood Soon


The Stealth A-Rona

Just when we are getting used to the everyday antics of the Omicron, another virus has arrived from that fun city in China, Wuhan. This one is so secret squirrel sneaky that it’s named “The Stealth” A-Rona.

It is believed it can penetrate all man-made masks, brick walls, steel doors, plexiglass shields at food markets, everything at Walmart and Target, NFL Games, human eyes, ears, anal orifices, and even clothing. Biden’s and Pelosi’s diapers won’t save them from this one.

The only way to detect the “wiley bug” is to have your dead body or bodily fluids sent to the Los Alamos Labs in New Mexico for extensive testing by the Oppenheimer A-Bomb Team.

Yesterday, we received word here in Texas that the “Stealth A-Rona” has arrived. But unfortunately, the CDC won’t say which city for fear of setting off riots and runs on the grocery stores.

I’m not sure, but it most likely is somewhere in deep south Texas near the border, from what I have read. It makes perfect sense. Illegal criminals stealthily sneak into our country under cover of darkness, are put on buses, then taken to clandestine airfields, put on black ops jets, and in the wee hours, are flown to cities in the northeast and then released into the general population carrying a government-issued Platinum Visa Card, stipends for food, clothing, and housing, a firearm of their choice, and a wad of cash. All ankle monitors are removed upon landing. So, the intelligent and stealthy virus catches a ride on the evil invaders. Makes perfect sense. It’s coming to your neighborhood soon, and there is nothing you can do about it.

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