It’s A Philly Thing

“The thing is, win or lose… philly still gonna be philly bc ITS A PHILLY THING,” Twitter user @Annie_Wu_22 wrote, sharing footage of a crowd yelling, “F— the Chiefs.” Words of wisdom from the city of brotherly love and high-cholesterol steak and cheese sandwiches. Ben Franklin is begging God to send him back down to earth, like Clarence the Angel, so old Ben can kick some ass, ring a bell and get his wings. While here, he should spray a large can of kick-ass on that devil dog-worshiping Illuminati princes Rihanna and her little demon children. Up there on stage, strutting around in her rubber red devil attire, surrounded by dancers in hazmat suits. It’s a wonder she didn’t go into labor on live television; it would have increased the ratings.

What’s so special about the Super Bowl? Why is the winner called world champions when the United States is the only country in the league, and they compete against themselves? The rest of the civilized and uncivilized parts of the globe play “football,” also known as soccer. I am unimpressed with the “big game” and have been for decades. But that’s only my opinion, which doesn’t count for Jack Shit, who I met back in the 70s. Come to think of it, no opinions from senior citizens count for anything. All we are good for is keeping big pharma in business. I take so many pills I forget what they are for.

I used to be a Dallas Cowboys fan, but I overcame that communicable disease a few years back. My son had it bad, but he’s slowly recovering, like a Catholic that escaped from the church but can’t stop eating fish sticks on Friday. It’s a slow process. Now, it’s 28 years since a super bowl appearance, and if Jerry Jones doesn’t check out soon, it will be 30-plus years. Please, Elon Musk, make Jones an offer he can’t refuse; we saw you on the television, sitting there in your expensive seat drinking a can of beer, so we know you like American football. Sir Paul McCartney was also in attendance and could afford to buy the team, but he would have to play every half-time show, and he’s about done with music because he sounds like Carol Channing when he sings. Lennon and Harrison are up in the clouds looking down and saying, ” hey mate, give it up and come for a visit?” Of course, the downside of a celebrity buying a team like the Cowboys would be if Adele purchased the franchise. She is caught in a continuous state of mental breakdowns, and her auto-tune machine is unrepairable. Besides, she cries too much.

I likely said too much because my filters are gone, and my opinions don’t count.

7 Replies to “It’s A Philly Thing”

  1. Super Bowl vs. Bowl of Fire.
    Since I spent a good deal of my life in Kansas City (before leaving misery behind and finding so much happiness in Las Vegas it’s practically sinful), I did hope the Chiefs would win. The Eastern Seaboard snobs were sure their team would drub K.C., and now they’re claiming the game was rigged. I didn’t watch the game, but I kept track of it on ESPN’s gamecast (graphics) in the fourth quarter after a day of hiking in the southern Bowl of Fire (Lake Mead area). I watched the highlights on YouTube later on. Still, my best memory of the day was roasting sausage over a fire on the hike. And, of course, doing a bit of risky rock scrambling.


  2. I am SO laughing. I watched the game. The two teams seemed reasonably matched. I don’t normally watch football but, my SO wanted to & he decided to pull for the Chiefs. A buddy came over & it was a cheese, crackers, white castle, pizza & a cheap wine Superbowl party. I don’t really care. And, I just KNEW the halftime show was gonna be as eye-shattering as the Grammys debauchery. What is with this red satan shit, anyway?

    Chris Stapleton was a highlight on the National Anthem. Good ole country boy…

    I couldn’t give a single crap about professional sports. You mentioned being a Cowboys fan. They did have cute cheerleaders in the 70s. They were all over TV. My dad was a Redskins fan & his younger brother was for Dallas…why, IDK. I grew up listening to phone calls, between them, as the ‘skins & the ‘boys played each other. They would tease one another over who would win.


  3. I was born on January 15 1967 as the 1st Super Bowl was being played…and I did like it when I was a kid…in the seventies it was exciting and hardly any penalties called. I just grew up more of a baseball guy though.
    I still watch some 70s football on youtube…I would rather watch marching bands at halftime than what they have now.


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