Day: September 14, 2026

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The Texan Heads To South Dakota

/ Phil Strawn / 14 Comments
A rugged all-terrain vehicle (ATV) with a roll cage driving through an expansive South Dakota prairie landscape. The ATV has a GoPro action camera mounted on the front bumper. An older cowboy-hatted man drives the ATV, clearly visible in the driver's seat. The ATV drives alongside Dolly Parton who rides a fully visible golden palomino horse with a strong muscular body, flowing white mane and tail, and all four legs planted firmly on the ground mid-gallop. The ATV and Dolly's horse are side by side. Dolly wears a sparkling rhinestone western outfit and big voluminous blonde hair, joyfully playing an acoustic guitar and singing with her mouth open. Surrounding them is a massive herd of charging bison kicking up dust across the plains, with even more bison filling the background horizon. Several cowgirls on horseback in western attire are herding the bison, along with several Native American riders on horseback in traditional dress helping drive the herd. Roy Rogers in his iconic western outfit and cowboy hat rides his famous golden palomino horse Trigger. A loyal and energetic German Shepherd dog named Bullet runs alongside Trigger at full gallop, staying close to Roy Rogers. The scene is action-packed and cinematic, wide open sky, golden hour light, dramatic dust clouds, American West feel.
The girl on the left on the horse is Beth Dutton; Roy Rogers and his dog, Bullitt and Trigger; and Dolly Parton playing the guitar on her horse. That’s me in the ATV.

This Texan and his Mrs. Texan, Momo, are heading to South Dakota next week for the annual cowboy and cowgirl event of rounding up the 1,400-plus Buffalo (Bison) in Custer State Park. No, there will not be another reenactment of the Little Bighorn, and Custer won’t be there. No arrows will be flying through the air. It’s a three-day affair with about 20K folks wandering around drinking beer and eating BBQ.

Most of my readers know I have a dropped right foot and a gimped-up right leg from a botched back surgery, so I can’t run, and on most days I do my best to walk a semi-straight line, which is usually two or three feet either way, off straight.

I want to be part of the roundup; it’s a bucket-list thing, a Texas thing. I grew up herding cattle sitting on a mule on my grandfather’s ranch, so it’s nothing new to me. I contacted a man in Keystone, SD, who is outfitting an all-terrain vehicle with a fully encapsulated safety cage, high-powered operational cattle prods, and GoPro streaming Starlink cameras mounted to the vehicle so I can run and live stream, or in this case drive, with the Bison, sort of like Hemingway did with the bulls in Spain in the 1930s. He was trampled twice, either by the bulls themselves or the terrified Spaniards, but lived to write about it: he was likely inebriated both times. Momo, the Mrs. Texan, refuses to ride with me and may have me arrested for something she can dream up before the Round-Up begins. I know my brain ain’t right; she knows it too, but it’s something I’ve got to do. I’m driven to the point of knowing I will likely be trampled. What is a lightweight all-terrain vehicle to a 2500 pound Buffalo, nothing but a gum wrapper on the ground. They are a bit mean and honary, and pay no attention to stupid folks. They do respect the cowboys and cowgirls on horses, but that’s it: it must be out of tradition. Pretty darn sure they will enjoy the ghost of Dolly Parton singing to them, as well as Beth Dutton and Roy Rogers, Trigger and Bullitt the dog: Dale and Pat or Sky King couldn’t make it this year.

We plan to see all the sites: Mount Rushmore, the Black Hills, Devils Tower ( minus the spaceship), Prairie Dog City, Marshall Dillon’s grave, Custer’s scalp mounted in a glass case, and so on. But mainly we want to be cool, cold, and comfortable. Momo has her new boots, I got a new Cowboy hat, and we are ready if the drive doesn’t kill us.