This Texan and his Mrs. Texan, Momo, are heading to South Dakota next week for the annual cowboy and cowgirl event of rounding up the 1,400-plus Buffalo (Bison) in Custer State Park. No, there will not be another reenactment of the Little Bighorn, and Custer won’t be there. No arrows will be flying through the air. It’s a three-day affair with about 20K folks wandering around drinking beer and eating BBQ.
Most of my readers know I have a dropped right foot and a gimped-up right leg from a botched back surgery, so I can’t run, and on most days I do my best to walk a semi-straight line, which is usually two or three feet either way, off straight.
I want to be part of the roundup; it’s a bucket-list thing, a Texas thing. I grew up herding cattle sitting on a mule on my grandfather’s ranch, so it’s nothing new to me. I contacted a man in Keystone, SD, who is outfitting an all-terrain vehicle with a fully encapsulated safety cage, high-powered operational cattle prods, and GoPro streaming Starlink cameras mounted to the vehicle so I can run and live stream, or in this case drive, with the Bison, sort of like Hemingway did with the bulls in Spain in the 1930s. He was trampled twice, either by the bulls themselves or the terrified Spaniards, but lived to write about it: he was likely inebriated both times. Momo, the Mrs. Texan, refuses to ride with me and may have me arrested for something she can dream up before the Round-Up begins. I know my brain ain’t right; she knows it too, but it’s something I’ve got to do. I’m driven to the point of knowing I will likely be trampled. What is a lightweight all-terrain vehicle to a 2500 pound Buffalo, nothing but a gum wrapper on the ground. They are a bit mean and honary, and pay no attention to stupid folks. They do respect the cowboys and cowgirls on horses, but that’s it: it must be out of tradition. Pretty darn sure they will enjoy the ghost of Dolly Parton singing to them, as well as Beth Dutton and Roy Rogers, Trigger and Bullitt the dog: Dale and Pat or Sky King couldn’t make it this year.
We plan to see all the sites: Mount Rushmore, the Black Hills, Devils Tower ( minus the spaceship), Prairie Dog City, Marshall Dillon’s grave, Custer’s scalp mounted in a glass case, and so on. But mainly we want to be cool, cold, and comfortable. Momo has her new boots, I got a new Cowboy hat, and we are ready if the drive doesn’t kill us.
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I’ve been to Little Bighorn Battlefield National Monument in Montana; Devils Tower in Wyoming; and Mount Rushmore, the Black Hills (but not Custer State Park), and the Badlands in South Dakota. So I think it’s cool that you are going to hoof it to that part of the country, dropped right foot and a gimped-up right leg notwithstanding. Have a great trip! (And as my father, who grew up near Buffalo, Missouri used to say when I went off on wild adventures like that, “Bye, son!”)
We are stoked and ready to be there. May never return to Granbury.
“There will be no further reenactment of the Little Bighorn.”
Hmmm. So you say, white man.
Sam, I am a quarter Cherokee from my people in Oklahoma. If I did anything, I’d be riding a bareback pony with a bow and arrow. My grandmother was full-blood Cherokee, raised on the reservation in OK, and used to hang out with Quahna Parker. Nor saying a second battle would happen, but its possible if they give us Indians enough red-eye and beer.
“…it’s something I’ve got to do.” Well, young feller, get ‘er done. Sounds like an awesome time, even just doing the sightseeing. I know you don’t often post pictures or do videos but I hope you will make an exception in this case.
I will record it for certain, Herb.
Describing an all-terrain vehicle next to a 2,500-pound bison as a gum wrapper on the ground made me laugh out loud, mostly because you clearly know exactly what you are signing up for. The Custer State Park roundup has been on our someday list for years – our kids would happily skip Mount Rushmore for it. I am firmly on Momo’s side about the riding along, but I hope you get your footage. Safe drive up.
I’m adding a football helmet and knee pads for extra safety. Momos already devised a plan to have me arrested for shoplifiting at Home Depot before the roundup.
Best wishes for a fantastic and safe adventure, Phil! The Black Hills have been our frequent stomping grounds for years. May I suggest a drive on the Needles Highway, a stop at Sturgis to see the site of the annual big bike rally, the Deadwood cemetery and museum, and the Crazy Horse monument? If you’re in the area, those are all good things to see. Spearfish has a great campground if you have an RV and you’re needing a place that’s central.
We’ll likely do the roundup, the train ride through the Black Hills, Deadwood, the Dolly Parton statue, Mount Rushmore, Cary Grant’s suit from the movie, and see Custer’s scalp on display at the drugstore along with the largest Jackalope in SD.
Yeehaw! Sounds amazing! Fellow Texan friends of ours went to the bison roundup last year for their 50th wedding anniversary. What a hoot! The drive won’t kill ya. Somehow FabGirl and I managed to drive to and from Florida twice this year. We’re still here to talk about it. Safe travels! Father has had well-trained angels watching over y’all for decades.
Enjoy your vacation, Phil. Try not to stress out Momo by doing figure-eights through the herd of buffalo. 🙂
She’s already threatened to have me committed to a hospital, so I guess the ride is off, but I’m still taking my folding chair and watching from a distance, and eating a Bison Burger and a beer.
Wise decision, Phil. 🤣🏥🦬🤠🦬🦬🦬🦬