Texans Have Been Doing It For A Century Or More, And I Was One Of Them
I will admit to being ignorant about some things, and the term ” throwing shade” at someone or something meant nothing to me. Us’n Texans have been doing it for years. I recently discovered what it meant by accident, using AI.
All of my relatives were professionals at this so-called newest trend. My grandmother’s ” Well, bless her little heart,” was the favorite one. The side-eye glance, the eye rolls, the fart, and shaking your leg — all of them —were used around me since childhood. I had no idea it was a form of insult or mockery, just an old farm saying. I’ve done it myself, and to this day, I still say ” Bless their little heart,” which means they are plumb stupid as a dead rock.
Momo, my wife, is not a Texan: she was hauled down here from Pennsylvania for her father’s job at Texas Instruments. She has a few of her own. When you’re uptight about something, you’re ” wound up like a nickel rat.” That’s those cheap 1950s Japanese mice you wound up and let them scurry around the floor; the spring usually broke after a few times, so they became something of a novelty.
My good friend, Jarry Boy Davis, in our teenage rock band years, heard plenty of them from his mother, an in-your-face Southern lady from Memphis. ” He’s as crazy as a peach orchard squirrel; that guy is a stupid tool. Can’t pour piss out of his own boots.” If a girl was downright ugly, she would be called ” an unfortunate-looking little thing.” Same for the boys.
Now that I am old and have nothing to lose, I will participate in more “shading” events, especially when it comes to those “panty waist” men in Washington. Why do we senior citizens dislike our government so intensely? I’ll write about that another time.
The Ozempic crowd in Hollywood seem to be the worst, and the best at it. All of those poor folks, skin and bones, bulging eyes, failing organs, having to be helped to walk onto the movie set, they shade everyone, even themselves, without knowing it. ” Bless their little hearts.”
Discover more from Notes From The Cactus Patch
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
I learned about the meaning of “well bless their little hearts” through my friend in Llano, and although, as a Canadian, I don’t feel privileged to say it out loud, I do say it in my mind more times than I care to admit, Phil – and with a southern belle drawl too.
That one and many more were used by my aunts, grandmothers, cousins, etc. That seems to be the one that says it all. I used it last Sunday at my old bass player’s 80th party. His brother-in-law is a hot steel guitar picker from Austin, but was all set up with himself, so I said it to Momo.
My dad’s favorite seems to have been ‘he couldn’t find (or fight) his way out of a paper bag.’ Also the ever-favorite ‘…couldn’t find his butt with both hands.’ And ‘cut off his nose to spite his face.’
I remember all of those too. My dad’s favorite was FUBAR. I heard it all the time in our household.
In Greek mythology, a “shade” is the spirit or ghost of a dead person that lives in the underworld, often described as being in shadow. Shades appear in stories like Homer’s Odyssey, including the episode where Odysseus descends into Hades. (As for Christopher Nolan’s take on the tale: “Well, bless his little heart!”)
I don’t plan on seeing this particular movie, not sure why, maybe too woke and too hip.
Back in Queens we were more direct: “You’re stupid.” “She’s dumb.” Your deprecations are more subtle and more devastating in their own way.
It’s the Southern hospitality dipped in honey, but the knife goes in a little easier.
Kids in my old neighborhood would throw out a lot of “Yo, mama” insults. “Yo mama wears army boots” was the most popular. 🙂
That’s an innocent one. We finally resorted to throwing Cherry Bombs at each other and, of course, shooting BB guns. My mother’s favorite was that if a woman looked a bit on the trashy side, she would call her a “gimliet ass chippy.” She never told me what that meant.
My Italian mama would’ve made mobsters blush. 🤣
Gotta love those Italian women. Sophia Loren cussed like a pro.