Negative PET Scan, Positive Outlook: Facing The Future With Humor

Momo and I met with my neurologist yesterday to find out the results of my PET scan from a few weeks ago. My regular doc thought that, since I failed my cognitive test so badly, I may have Alzheimer’s disease. Well, Dear Hearts, my neurologist was so pleased that he gave me a high-five. I was in the negative range, -195. My scan was better than his, and he admitted he has never seen anyone my age (almost 77) without any markers indicating future oldtimers. so he says, I will never get oldtimers, but, and that’s the key word. I could still be developing Dementia, and I do have excessive fluid buildup on the left side of my brain and will have that removed in about six months. That explains the falls, the goofy walk, forgetfulness, and a number of other things. He says he uses all Craftsman tools, and the surgery is guaranteed for life; that’s a relief. He said I could keep the fluid, and it looks really cool mixed in with the oil in those 1960s bubble lamps: we still have a few around here somewhere, just not sure where. He said to keep playing music every day; it stimulates the brain and helps you learn new things that old dogs shouldn’t be able to. My wife was so excited; she now wants her on a PET scan, but can it come with a little French Bulldog?

Momo and I joke around about our daily moments of forgetfulness, sometimes funny, often not. She forgets things; I forget more. I haven’t found my car key FOB in the fridge yet, but I did find it in the freezer. I told her the freezing temps preserve the battery life and help keep my leg cool.


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21 thoughts on “Negative PET Scan, Positive Outlook: Facing The Future With Humor”


  1. As a professional who specialized in dementia care through the majority of my nursing career, I’ve never once thought of you as having Alzheimer’s type dementia,Phil. Dementia isn’t a diagnosis, it’s a group of symptoms that can be caused by various illnesses and traumas. Your skillful use of words is one of the things that would stand out as definitely “not” Alzheimer’s. Oops there I go into training mode again. (I taught staff and caregivers across our province for several years). At any rate – the fluid. Do they know what caused that and will your op involve placement of a permanent shunt to keep it drained off ?


    • Not sure, Terry. Momo is a retired cath lab and EP nurse and knows more than I do. My neurologist did say that he would do a spinal tap ( minus the music) to remove it. Likely the 4 concussions, with the last one being severe, caused it. She did mention there might be a shunt involved if the spinal tap can’t resolve it.


  2. Good news, Phil! All three of us in our household have those ‘where’s my xyz? what was I about to do? why am I in this room?’ moments, plus asking each other the same questions more than once and telling the same stories on repeat. Our son, Tiger, is a veteran and a biker. He has multiple health issues, including PTSD and several (6+, the doc told him) concussions from motorcycle accidents and barfights. A couple of days ago he misplaced his glasses and we have not been able to find them anywhere. And yes, we even looked in the fridge and freezer, and under the hood of his 1972 Chevy C-10. I’m glad you remember to compose and publish your tales here, Brother. Seeing ‘you’ in the inbox is a blessing even when I don’t manage to read you right away. Shalom, y’all!


    • Awww, thanks. I’m blushing, or maybe it’s my high blood pressure; anyways, I am flattered. I’ve had four of those concussions, and they are tough on the old noggin. The fifth one did the damage. Hope Tiger gets better. The PTSD alone is tough to wade through. Shalom back at ya. Y’all. A 1972 Chevey C-10! I am envious.


  3. The surgeon has plans to shrink a submarine to microscopic size to navigate the fluid in your brain. Several nurses will be in the sub, including one who looks like Raquel Welch. An explosives expert who resembles Stephen Boyd will also be on board. The mission is to clear out the flooded part of your brain using a pack of miniature cherry bombs and then xeriscaping (aka “cactus patching”) the new void with a data center whose network of micro-cogs will serve to improve your brain’s overall cognition.


  4. Never in a million years would I have pegged you with Alzhiemer’s or even Dementia. I used to work on the Alzheimer’s Unit.
    So thriled at your great PET scan! You’ve been saved for some more good stuff lined up for you. Be on the lookout!


    • John, we can find a bit of humor in most things we experience. I tend to put myself out there maybe a tad too much, but that’s reality. Sometimes I have to check myself and inwardly say, “What the hell are these doctors trying to tell me? If I’m going to be a cucumber in the near future, just tell me now.” My cardiologist — yes, I have a specialist for everything that has gone haywire with my worldly body. He says, in a comedic way, “Oh, don’t worry, you may drop dead at any time from a heart attack, but you won’t know it.” The hell I won’t. He is a great doctor, and I appreciate his humor.

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